The Lord Said to Me

 

“the LORD said to me,” Deuteronomy 2:17    

 

The speaker at the women’s conference asked who it was in the audience and without any hesitation or thought, my hand raised.  I said, “It’s me.”

 

            God had message just for me.  The speaker’s topic was passion, calling and purpose or “Why am I here?”   After she laid the foundation for acknowledging and acting upon our God-given calling and purpose, she moved into an interactive group discussion.  She was sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit as she elaborated her points.

 

            She sensed that someone was worried about a calling to blog but was reluctant because that someone felt “past her prime.” I’d spoken those exact words to myself in my head and even shared them with a friend.

 

I had stopped my regular habit of blogging a few years ago.  Several of the most “recent” (and this is a most generous use of the word “recent”!) posts announced my return to the habit.  

 

            I have been mired in self-doubt for months.  I even surprised myself that I have been so fickle.  I blogged the entire book of Deuteronomy and embrace the book as one of my “favs.”

 

            Why did the book of James(my most “recent” blog topic) and the verses on doubt cause me to freeze and abandon a clear calling? I couldn’t be authentic encouraging others when my thoughts were consumed with self-doubt.

 

            My theory: I was stuck in dubiety. 

 

I learned this word, dubiety, in my small group during a discussion on doubt.  We started with the well-known doubter, Thomas (John 20:24-29).  Thomas was absent when Jesus miraculously appeared in a locked room to bring peace and instruction to the disciples after His crucifixion.  Thomas wanted to see and touch Jesus for himself. Thomas could easily have been a native Missourian where the motto is “Show me!”

 

            Doubt is defined as a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction. Doubt has a negative connotation.  Doubt divides, raises the fear level and blinds us to God’s work.  

 

Dubiety is “ramped-up” doubt.  It means unusually hesitant uncertainty or doubt that causes vacillation (much like being tossed about in the waves of the sea as mentioned in James 1: 6).

 

            There may be a good side to doubt before it becomes crippling dubiety.  Some of the greatest heroes of the faith (like Moses, Sarah, David and Elijah ) spent some time in the ocean of doubt of self  and faith.

 

Doubt can be an opportunity to choose to trust God and see God work. Doubt can cause us to take stock in our faith and how we express it.  Perhaps dealing with doubt by embracing the peace and familiarity Jesus brought to the disciples will enable us to share our uncertain thoughts with others and build faith in Jesus, each other and ourselves.

 

God’s grace is overwhelming!  So many times I’ve failed.  Yet the Lord said to me “you are not past your prime” and “you still have a purpose”!

 

So once again I am returning to my calling of nearly 10 years to blog; to bring encouragement to believers and seekers to embrace a life of following Jesus.  I completely endorse life with Jesus leading.  It’s time, again, for me to get off the paralyzing dubiety carousel, swallow my latest dose of doubt and enjoy blogging.

 

When I first began blogging, through a friend the Lord said to me I had an insight that others needed to hear.  Through the speaker the Lord said to me that my blog may be a blessing to someone or may be used to deliver an answer to prayer.

 

Let’s engage:

 

·      What has the Lord said to you through another person?  Who was it and what did the Lord say to you?

·      What Bible verse will help you control doubt?  My memory verse with be Deuteronomy 2:17.  Here’s the link to one of my earliest blogs on this verse: https://sunsetjan.blogspot.com/2013/10/memorizethis-one.html

·      Please share your thoughts and comments.