Rough Morning

"I forgot  my shoes!"  It was -8  degrees as I was picking my way  through the icy parking lot of the Y.  I thought, "usually I have something else in my hands?"  Then it dawned on me. I was wearing my boots but not carrying my walking shoes.

I'd had one of those days when I just did not want to follow my daily ritual, especially the laps at the Y.  I'd slept a few minutes longer; did a bit of  meditating on my Bible verses and enlightened my mind with some reading.  Nestled in my quilt I'd argued with myself.  "I'm not going today."  "It's only been one day since you'd skipped."  "I'll go 15 minutes later" was the compromise I made with myself.

While pondering Deuteronomy 29: 16-29, I was intrigued by the warning to "make sure there is  no root among you that produces such bitter poison."  The bitter poison was worshipping other gods and in these verses God makes very plain the consequences of exempting oneself.  When I reread these verses in The Message I saw the same situation in the world and my life.  God describes the person who strays as one who "exempts oneself" and says "I'll live the way I please, thank you" and proceeds to ruin lives.

How many times a day do we hear "it's my life and I choose how to live it"?  So many people have invoked this self-indulgent lifestyle, without regard to the affect on others, that we have so many more rules and forms to fill out.  You can recognize the areas when there has been some dispute by the new rules and questions that pop up in life. 

In my job sometimes I have to have people sign a form that makes them promise to sign forms again at a later date, in case something was missed.  Most everyone smiles and makes a joke about it.  I usually reply that it was hard for me to say it with a straight face.  Yet I did have a person simply refuse to initial a page that she'd already signed just because she didn't want to.  Obviously someone else had done the same thing and my customer thought this form would invoke some responsibility.  The paper is only effective if one does not invoke their self-exemption from the responsibility.

How does this apply to me forgetting my shoes?  I realized that rough morning that I have a consistent ritual of exercise and I do it because it's beneficial to my future.  (I do not enjoy it nor look forward to it.)   When the argument begins with myself, the point is made that it does not matter if I skip one day.  In the course of the short term, it probably does not matter that I skip one day. I don't see or feel the reward of the  minimal exercise. Yet in the scope of my whole life, I decided that the consistent exercise, moderate as it is, will keep me mobile and active longer than if I exempt myself from the routine.

I see the danger of living life with self-exemption, knowing the right way and then knowing choosing the opposite.  It's easy to choose the right way in the big issues in society because we have laws, law enforcement and penalties.  The threat to my world is self-exemption, when others make the wrong choice on how to live their life and my life is affected. 

On this rough morning I realized that in my daily life I can't enact self-exemption for my own good.  These verses in Deuteronomy showed me that I can't self-exempt myself, even when I'm polite by saying please and thank you as in The Message, by following the false gods of the world.  There are consequences for me and others.

It was truly a rough morning, I had to drive back home to get my shoes.  With my poor choice giving myself 15 minutes to be lazy and the extra trip to retrieve my shoes, I was 30 minutes later than usual.  Then my Ipod failed.  I  had to walk alone without an entertainment!  I use the book on the Ipod as my incentive for exercise.  Yet it was a good walk.  It wasn't that bad without the entertainment.  I got everything done and still made it to work at my usual time.  I was really glad I'd followed through with my daily routine in spite of my own efforts to skip.

Guess I'd better go find my walking shoes, 'cuz I'm going today.  I'm learning that faithfulness in following the little rules and rituals will  make it easier to choose when the big decisions come.  It is beneficial to follow God even when the circumstances make it tempting not  to or difficult.  Deuteronomy has shown me the blessings of keeping close to God and the consequences of chasing the false of this world gods who cannot provide what I need.  Only God can truly provide all that I need.